You’ve encountered selective autism before. You don’t have a name for it. I use this expression to describe how people take the words of their enemies literally to be outraged.
Selective autism occurs when your alternative is to acknowledge an enemy made a good point. You’re emotions and ego blind you. You misrepresent what your enemy says because you can’t admit your enemy is talking sense.
Selective autism occurs mainly in men as men are more affected by autism. Men are the more argumentative sex. That doesn’t mean that women are immune.
You saw a local example. After the Rugby Rape Hoax trial, first world feminists made memes of the innocent men. Quotes from their private WhatsApp conversation placed over their eyes. One lad had “I threw her home” as his caption.
Selective autism meant females took it literally, “Can you believe that he THREW her home”. You and I both know that he didn’t mean he “threw” her home, he made sure she got home. Disappointed the accuser wasn’t raped, first world feminists had to see offence elsewhere.
Kanye West samples here’s one for example.
You’ve heard the clip of Kanye saying slavery is a choice. Here we have a clear example of mass selective autism. Kanye has annoyed people by saying “We got to love Trump” and so forth.
Half of America thinks Trump is racist. Having Kanye saying that people have to try love disturbs them. There is high emotion associated with Kanye’s stance. People are vigilant for any slip-ups Mr West may make and with “slavery is a choice” they are pouncing on him.
Before you read on you and I need to make sure that we understand each other. I get that you think that Kanye was saying that slavery was a literal choice. You and I both know that is absurd. If slaves could choose would they remain enslaved?
The United States abolished slavery. If you wanted to choose to be a slave you would have to move to Libya. Kanye was talking about mindset. Kanye is reiterating the words of a Candace Owens video.
In trying to bring Kanye down, people have had to be selectively autistic. They have had to misinterpret his words by taking them literally.
My grandmother death has caused a rift in my mother’s side of the family. My uncles are refusing to speak to my mum. I have an aunt who is acting as a mediator between my uncles and mum.
It got back to my mum that an uncle commented, “She wasn’t mum in the hospital”. Mum got upset telling me over the phone that “She was always our mother”. As much as I dislike my uncles for how they’ve treated mum I had to defend them. “Mum you and I said this, they weren’t saying that she ceased being a mother, they meant that she wasn’t the same person”. Grandma wasn’t the same once she went into the hospital.
Due to the emotions involved my mum encountered selective autism. It was my obligation to get her out of it; I had to make her look at the words on their own.
You must separate the words from the speaker. Remind the person that they have used similar words themselves. You must hold the selective autist/selaut to their own standard.
An autistic theory about autism
Have you read Sapiens? I recommend that you do. It’s a history of our species, homo sapiens. At one point homo sapiens biggest rival was Neanderthals. One on one Neanderthal would have crushed us. Ten on ten, same outcome. One hundred sapiens v one hundred neanderthals? That’s a different story.
Neanderthals couldn’t organise themselves into large groups. One reason was they couldn’t manage abstract thought. They couldn’t share a belief together. Think of how many things exist because you and I agree they do. There’s religion, law, money; the list goes on. Neanderthals were literal thinkers.
You’re probably thinking, where the hell am I going with this?
There is a dispute about what happened to the Neanderthal. One theory is that homo sapiens genocided them. The other theory is that we interbred with them and their genes joined our code. I’m sure we killed a few, I’m also sure we fucked a few too.
Now for my theory.
My theory is that autism is a genetic echo of our interbreeding with Neanderthals. Neanderthals couldn’t work well in groups. They also thought literally, what are some of the symptoms of autism?
I’m going one further and saying that selective autism is a reminder to us all of our Neanderthal past.
Are you going through a bout of selective autism right now? Did you read what I wrote and get so annoyed that you think I wrote autistic people are Neanderthals? If you did, say hi to your ancestors for me.
How can you stop yourself from becoming a selaut? How can you stop others from being selauts?
I have gone through bouts of selective autism. I’ve disliked a person so much that I can’t concede that they are making good points or coming up with good ideas.
I had to break out of that because I was missing out on some great ideas because of my ego.
How did I break the pattern?
I would use the best friend filter. Visualise your best friend saying these words instead of the asshole. If you’re OK with your best friend saying it, then it’s unfair to be upset at some douchebag for saying the same words.
If you want to be an ethically consistent person, you must hold opponents to the same standard as your best friend.
Waiting for someone to say something that you can misinterpret is exhausting. You’ll also miss out on a load of cool conversations too. You may have to take a step back and think about the words rather than the speaker. You judge a person by their words and their actions. Unless you are looking to remain upset? If you are, then ignore what I am writing.
How can you stop yourself
How do you stop it from happening to yourself? I’ve been thinking about this, and you aren’t going to like my answer.
In an argument setting, you’re going to have to think about what you’re saying and listen to how you speak. Avoid metaphors, flowery language and cliche. Your enemy will mishear you, take your words out of context and warp your meaning. The more sound your argument, the more desperate they’ll act.
Here is an example of how they could do it to you:
You: Life, for the most part, is good.
Opponent: Children are dying.
You: I’m not saying that there aren’t bad things happening in the world. You and I should be grateful for all that we have. Sometimes you got to stop and smell the roses.
Opponent: You hear that? Children are dying, and he’s more concerned with flowers.
When you are in a confrontational setting, you must watch your speech. You may be in the right. There are those who, if they cannot find fault with your argument will find fault with your words.
Another tactic is to enjoy the silence. Most people can’t take silence, and in an argument, they will try to get you to say more so that you stumble.
In arguments words are rope. Saying nothing is an argument all on its own.
It took a moment for feeling to come into Justin’s body. He could feel a build up within him that made his head tighten and his body bloat.
Justin got up out of his bed and made his way downstairs. The floor tiles sucked the heat out of him so fast his knees bent. Justin steadied himself.
Looking through the glass of the front door he could see all three cars in the driveway. Dad was in the house.
There was the clink of plates and cutlery coming from behind him. Justin walked down the hallway towards the bright light coming from the kitchen. The intensity of the light caused him to shield his eyes.
When Justin entered the kitchen, he saw Brandi in her dressing gown. She was seated at the counter a bowl of fruit in front of her.
Father came up the stairs from the light room. He was naked, having finished some high-intensity light therapy. Father’s skin pulled tight over his body, it did not betray his age.
“Hey high achiever, there’s some granola and soy milk left out for you,” father said. His deep baritone voice resonated through the kitchen.
“Dad I don’t feel so good,” Justin said walking over to the counter.
“No matter our feelings, it’s no reason to abandon our manners.”
“Sorry sir,” Justin said arriving at the counter.
“While we are talking of sorries I saw that you were looking up properties online. Going, to be honest, it hurt my feelings. Give it another year or two. I want you to think long and hard about what you’re doing before committing to the action. You have everything you need right here”, said father.
“Thank you, sir, but I want to be out by thirty.”
“That’s an arbitrary number that you are ascribing. It doesn’t matter if it’s thirty or forty. House prices are so high, it doesn’t make any sense for you to want to move away. You are always welcome in this house.”
“I know that I am. It’s like I need my own space to be able to develop.”
“OK, I understand that.”
“And I want to come off the blockers,” Justin said. His father looked at him.
“That’s a big decision for us,” father said, placing arms on the counter. Justin noticed father’s veins wrapped tight around bulging muscle.
“It’s not a big decision, I’ve been considering it for a while.”
“This is your mother speaking isn’t it, poisoning you, wanting to develop you,” father said.
“I want to develop, I mean, look at you.”
“You don’t want that. That is the worst thing that you can have happen. I remember puberty. It felt like there was no end in sight. You won’t be able to concentrate on anything. You have the choice of becoming an adult, I’m going to say, don’t. You think I enjoy having to go through everything just to stay normal. This may look good but the cost. You don’t have to go through it. You have a choice, use it wisely.”
“I’d like to experience it,” Justin said. He lowered his head to deepen his voice to give himself more authority.
“Once you go through puberty, there’s no going back. Look we’ll talk about it some other time. You OK, you look peaky.”
“My head is stuffy.”
“You could be early.”
“No, you drained me recently.”
“You and I don’t know when we need to, still not an exact science. Let’s drain you, just to be sure.”
“Let’s leave it, sir, probably a reaction to the antibi’s I’m on.”
“Now son, if you’re under my roof it’s my rules” Father walked around and grabbed his arm.
“Dad put some trousers on”
“My roof, my rules,” Father dragged him downstairs into the light room.
The draining device was towards the back opposite the light box.
Father led him to a chair and strapped Justin in.
“You and I may need to go deeper, some of your veins are receding.”
“Last time was more painful.”
“Oh I know, but my roof” Father checked the settings on the extractor.
“Sir” father said correcting him.
“This will be over before you know it,” Father said and flipped a switch on the control panel. Justin felt the needles enter his body. Justin’s body jerked, but the straps held him in place and then hot electricity shot through him. Justin convulsed the straps of the chair burning.
Father in his haste had forgotten to put in the mouth guard. Justin held his tongue to the back of his mouth to stop himself from gnawing it off.
Between the strobe of his rapid blinks, Justin could make out his father. Concentrated on the control board. Justin saw father’s finger hover over the switch. Justin mouthed the word ‘stop’ foam dripped into his lap.
Father looked up and noticed. He pressed the button. The machine stopped, the needles left Justin’s body. Father ran to Justin, taking his cheeks in his hands.
“My boy, I am so sorry, I didn’t realise,” Father said.
Father put in the mouthguard. He returned to the control panel and turned the machine back on. The needles reentered. Justin’s body spasmed strapped to the chair.
“You know this counts as your daily exercise. All that moving about might be uncomfortable, but you’re getting healthier.” Father said, Justin barely heard him.
Finally, it was over. The amount that came from Justin filled thirty vials.
“Let me try” Father took a sip from a vial. “This is good, you should be proud. You must excuse me, I need to tell this to Brandi”.
Father left, rising as he ascended the stairs. Justin sat there, strapped to the chair, drained, unmoving.
“Francis cut out the melodrama,” said the tall man. The tall man gripped Francis’ upper arm and tried to drag him away.
“Kev, listen to me, I’m hurt,” said Francis.
Seven smashed glasses scattered on cobbles. Gin, tonic, cola and vodka escaped in different directions. The people in the beer garden took no notice at first but were now rapt in the scene unfolding. Kev tugged, but Francis stood rooted to the spot.
“Come on”, Kev said. Francis still didn’t move. Kev put a knee into Francis’ knee pit. Francis’ knee bent.
Francis relented, and Kev walked him to a nearby booth.
“You didn’t need to be so rough with me,” said Francis looking at a recently formed dark splotch on his blue shirt.
“You were faffing about,” Kev said.
“I was going to ask if they could replace the drinks,” said Francis. He noticed more dark spots on his shirt.
“In a place like this, no chance, look around you we’re standing in a converted garden shed. This place is hipster heaven. Stick a bit of writing near the spill, and you could sell it as art”, said Kev.
“The lads won’t like me coming back empty-handed,” Francis said.
“Don’t worry about the round; I’ll sort it.”
“Thanks, next time we’re near a machine I’ll sort you out.”
“Don’t worry about it there’s are more to life than rounds,” said Kev.
“Like, injuring myself. If this wet feeling in my shoe is blood, I’ll hold you responsible Kev.”
“You won’t; you dropped the tray.”
“The ground was slippy.”
“And you keep excusing yourself of stupid behaviour.”
” Thanks, Kev, glad you pulled me aside to have a go at me.”
“The other lads are too good to you. They’d never say anything. Now what I like about you and I is that even though we’ve known each other for a few years, we’ve never been close. If that bothered either one of us, we would have amended that, yet here we are. I don’t mind if we’re further apart after this. The lads, myself included, are either in long terms or are in receivership on the semi-regular. You, I don’t even think that I’ve seen you notice a girl much less mention one.”
“I don’t objectify women, how horrible,” said Francis
“What I’m saying is you may think that you’ll get rejected for, coming out, and saying something. If the other people have already known about it, then you can’t get rejected when you finally, come out and say it.”
“I’m not gay,” said Francis
“Odd that the first place that your mind went to after me saying that is that you’re not gay. That says something about you”, Kev said. Kev moved in closer to Francis, backing him into a wall.
“You’re cornering me.”
“You’re cornering yourself. All you got to do is walk past me. People will say, hey that guy can walk. Some of us want to know that you can walk.”
“I know I can walk:”
“Then do it, show us. Some say you’re a cripple. You’re stuck. You know, “Get Franny a wheelchair. He can’t walk” that’s what they say.”, said Kev
“I’m capable of walking,” said Francis.
“Then show me. Francis walk. Walk now, right over there, walk the whole way” Kev said. Kev motioned to a woman standing at the bar. The woman stood alone dressed in black and a brown jacket. The woman was as stylish as she was beautiful.
“I’m not walking over there,” said Frances.
“Yes you are, that’s the path. Go over there show me you can walk. Don’t mention theatre”.
“She might like theatre.”
“I’m going to make an assumption. I know that assumptions are bad. I’ll bet this particular woman doesn’t like plays. Play talk makes a woman walk. Keep it light, casual, talk to her about travel, man or horoscopes, women love that”, Kev said. Kev went behind Frances. Kev pushed Francis out of the alcove in her direction.
” She could be an INTJ like me,” said Francis.
“I didn’t even know you were dyslexic.” said
“It’s a personality type.”
“It is, adds to your character.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Sshhhhh,” said Kev, bringing a finger to his lips. “The time of talking to me is at an end. The time to talk to her is beginning”
Francis turned around towards the woman. He took a few steps toward her before stopping dead in his tracks. Frances looked back to Kev who stood in the alcove.
Kev nodded to him before giving him a thumbs up.
Francis turned his head back round to face the woman. Francis breathed in deep through his nose, felt his chest and stomach expand.
Francis held that breath for a few moments before pushing it out through his mouth.
A nearby group of people heard him and shared glances between each other. A fellow with a handlebar moustache arched bushy eyebrows at a woman with a monocle and martini glass. She nodded to him.
Francis walked closer. He lowered his head the stress in his body caused him to furrow his brow. As Francis drew nearer to the woman, a movement to the left of him caught his eye.
A bearded man wearing a leather jacket, blue jeans and desert boots approached the woman. Francis realised what was happening, but he wasn’t able to stop his body.
Francis’ mind was pure panic.
The bearded man had already arrived at the woman’s side and clocked Francis’ approach.
The bearded man turned his head toward Francis, smirked, pulled the woman close into him. The woman smiled threw her head back exposing her neck. Her head rested on his shoulder. The bearded man turned his head, kissed her neck. Her eyes closed.
The bearded man turned to Francis and said; “Keep walking”.
Mike saw her as he came in, she sat with her back to the door, lying in wait. While she sat up straight, he knew that inside she was coiled and ready to spring. Mike ordered coffee.
The barista told him to grab a seat, and they would bring it down. Mike hadn’t been spotted so he would use those few extra minutes to gather his strength.
The cappucino arrived, Mike could no longer delay the inevitable. Mike made his way over to Cathy.
“Hi Cathy,” Mike said sitting down opposite her. Cathy was looking off to the side, not making eye contact with him.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Cathy said still not looking at him.
“What is there left to say, you and I made the right decision ending things, it was more your end and I guess I am thankful for that” Mike said.
“Just frustrating, you openly admit you mistreated me but you don’t feel the need to apologize,” she said finally turning round to face him.
“You always made me regret trying to do good. Would it be better to stop talking
completely, we could end it here if I’m upsetting you.” Mike said.
“It’s my fault then, you aren’t a good person are you? I’m glad I found out.”
“This right here is the problem. I explain to you that I’m struggling and I’m trying to do right, and you attack me. If I get attacked every time I make myself vulnerable, I close up. Who picked you up whenever your broke down, I came for you the day after you dumped me and I picked you up. I know it wasn’t much, but I was trying to help and trying to be good. Look I’m upsetting you, I’m sorry. You’re upsetting me. Let’s leave it here.” Mike said.
Mike moved to get up. not wanting to upset her further.
He was on his feet and about to walk away.
” Wait” Cathy said.
“If you’re not going to see or speak to me again I guess I won’t get another chance to tell you that you are one of the most selfish, irresponsible and immature people I’ve ever met. You think you’re noble because you’re not acting like as asshole for once in your life, well I’m afraid to tell you, you’re acting like an asshole. Playing the victim, blaming me? You’re struggling; I’m attacking you? Well, I guess I am now, about fucking time I stood up for myself. I don’t know what I was thinking; I completely fell for you despite you repeatedly hurting me because you think it’s fun to see me upset. I realize I sound like a crazy person but not wanting to see or speak to us again is just intentionally cruel.” Cathy said her voice raised.
An older couple at another table sat still trying to listen in on the conversation.
” I don’t understand why you would want to see one of the most selfish immature irresponsible again. Do you see how you are on the attack again?” Mike said, his hand moved out to touch hers, but he immediately pulled it back.
” I know, I’m sorry. You told me you never want to see or speak to me again and it upset me.” Cathy said.
” You can’t keep snapping at me like that, I know you’re upset, but it doesn’t excuse it. The next time it happens I’m going to respond in kind. It won’t help anything, but I’ve been sitting here biting my tongue.”
” Do you not see that it was a reaction to the hurtful things you said?”
” I understand. Can you clarify for me, if we get upset can we say whatever we want?”
” No of course not, but what I said was a knee-jerk reaction, and I have apologized whereas what you said was meant to cause hurt intentionally.”
“This is the problem between you and me; you take everything as a personal attack. You assume I everything I do is to cause pain. I have never intentionally caused you pain. I understand that I have but I never once thought, hey this will fuck her up today. I wouldn’t want to upset you anyway because as soon as you do you go personal and it’s not nice to have to deal with” Mike said,
Mike could see the older woman at the other table practically come off her seat she was leaning in so hard to hear the conversation.
“You’ve gone personal with me,” Cathy said.
“I’m not going to get into it, but I haven’t. I know you think I’m this stupid idiot that blurts out the first thing to come to mind but if I can take anything out of this relationship, it’s that I have more self-control than I thought” Mike said.
“And you’re saying I don’t?” Cathy said getting loud, startling the older woman at the other table.
“There you go again, this is going round in circles, I should get going,” Mike said pushing the coffee away from him.
“At least stay until you have finished your coffee,” Cathy said looking at his half-full cup.
“Nah, it’s fine I’ve got stuff,” Mike said looking at his half-empty cup.
“We’ll still be friends,” Cathy said.
Mike sighed, “No, no we won’t,” he said.
“I see,” she looked down, and he could hear her crying. Mike was tempted to reach out and touch her, but he had to break the cycle.
“Derrick, say something” Mike heard behind him, he turned to look at the older couple. The man sat there mouth open looking at the older woman. The man looked up at Mike.
“You should leave her alone,” the man said to Mike.