Fat acceptance is missing a word
You have to believe in fat acceptance. It’s something that you just have to make your peace with and accept. You have to allow people to kill themselves by eating themselves to death slowly.
Why have you got to be so selfish? Are you even a doctor? Can you tell me for sure? That you know that it is the obesity that killed some of these people?
It was the heart-attacks and strokes that killed them. Had nothing to do with the morbid obesity.
In the same way that Lady Diana didn’t die in a car crash. Lady Diana died of asphyxiation whenever her lungs were replaced with a steering column.
Fat acceptance is missing a word. Have you noticed? It should go right in the middle.
Can you guess?
The word that is missing is “woman”. The full phrase, if we are being honest is fat woman acceptance.
Maybe there are plus sized male models, but I can guarantee you that most men don’t want to see that.
Fashion for men is aspirational we look at these dudes who look good in their clothes, and we look at that and think, “maybe that could be us, if only I worked out a little more, ate a bit better. Not only could I look like that but I could be that”. It’s fantasy but what is wrong with something that makes us that may make us better ourselves?
Do all women have a form of dysmorphia?
I put a picture of the Cosmo cover on my Facebook. I did a zoom in on the cover star’s knees because you may think this sounds weird but fat people’s knees fascinate me.
They fascinate me because I always think something is going to happen to them. Like the knee will pop off, or you’ll hear a squeaking sound like a kettle from the pressure they’re under. That is the knees you can see. Sometimes they have legs that just appear like two slabs of sausage meat.
Anyway, you’re wondering if I’ll get to the point.
Here it is: I was surprised at the people who showed up to defend her. There were some who I didn’t even know we’re still a facebook friend. They all showed up to say good on her and that just because she’s morbidly obese doesn’t mean that she’s unhealthy. They also said that they prefer this to people with anorexia as if it were a binary choice.
It was odd to see some of the people come out and defend her. It got me thinking did the women who came out to defend her feel like they were personally getting attacked. You are like me in that you don’t feel the need to weigh in on issues online unless you feel like you are personally under attack.
Did these women feel attacked? On some level is this how they see themselves? Could be and if that is the case, then they might have a form of body dysmorphia. Now, I’m not a doctor but if they feel like on some level that is how they look then that’s sad. The Cosmo girl is massive, it would take a real concentrated effort of neglect and inactivity to get to that size.
My problem with fat acceptance
Now after all this you are probably asking, why do I care about this? Being morbidly obese is something you will never have to worry about Kieran seeing as you have friends and family who love you enough that you would die from the slagging first before you got to that weight.
Well, I have a few reasons for this.
The first reason is that I too struggle with my weight. As I’m sure, you do too. As I’m sure, everyone does to a certain degree. You and I are lucky in that our problem is not having enough food but having to know when to say no to more food. As issues go, it is a sweet one. Staying healthy is a constant battle, and you must remain vigilant. So for someone to come along and say that this is also equally valid. They are not.
If being healthy is medical science, not perfect but the best we got then fat acceptance is homoeopathy.
The second reason is that fat acceptance feels like it is disrespectful for the people who actually put the work in. Some athletes and models work hard to look how they do. This feels like a bit of a slap in the face to them.
Third and finally is how this is negatively going to affect men.
Back in school when you were at the discos, standing awkwardly in the corner. It’s dark aside from the bright illumination that roams the dancefloor like prison searchlights. The Venga boys are singing about the imminent arrival of the mythical Venga Bus. A girl approaches you and shouts in your ear
“Will you see my mate?”
“Point her out to me.” she does so, “Is she behind Monstro?”
“No thanks, I’m good.”
“Why not, she’s lovely,” she says. Notice how they never say, she’s hot, or she’s beautiful.
“You go with her then.”
“Dick” and then she walks off. I never understood why they always asked why not, did they want me to say, “She’s massive” so that they could make you the bad guy. You should not have to give a reason for not wanting to go with someone as I believe that no means no.
I always believed that there was an air of cruelty to the girls who tried to set up their mate.
Hold on, I want to briefly talk about amplifiers before I wrap this up. I know I’ve gone way off topic, but if you’ve read this far then, I guess it might be more to do with how I say it rather than what I mean. If you have been reading me for a while, you have already ascertained that I don’t have much to say.
You ever see a group of girls, and they are all moderately fit? You look at all of them, and you think, yeah they’re attractive then there is one who does not belong in the group. I don’t want to describe her to you because I don’t want to come across as cruel but guess is all I can say to that.
I call them amplifiers. They are there to enhance the other girls through contrast, and she is there because she gets to hang out with the pretty girls. It’s a symbiotic relationship, but it makes me wonder as to the strength of the bond in the group.
That wasn’t worth the digression, was it?
The final reason I won’t accept fat acceptance
Fat acceptance feels like a ploy to guilt men into what they find attractive. I don’t mind if you have let yourself go, if I’m not chasing you then it won’t be a problem. Do not come to someone and ask them how you look because if you do you run the risk of getting an honest answer.
If you say to me “Doesn’t she look good” I will say “You’re right, she doesn’t”. You cannot pariah someone for giving their honest opinion. Saying the Emperor is naked doesn’t mean that you’re a clothes denialist it just means that you can see his doodle.
You may say that I’m fatphobic. That is ridiculous. I’m not fat phobic, I’m not afraid of fat people. I’m not worried about fat people coming after me. They’re like Daleks, just go up the stairs.