Language mastery will make you master yourself

A language theory

I have a theory about language. The argument is the better your grasp of language the better control you’ll have over your emotional state.

For the sake of clarity, I don’t think that grasp of language is the only factor when it comes to emotional control. I don’t even know if it’s top ten. This theory is for fun.

There’s someone smarter than me who has already come up with this theory. I don’t know who that person is. If you know would you mind leaving a comment because I’d like to know more.

Family matters

Let me tell you about my family. There is a language barrier in our house. It would be my mother and me on one side, my father and sister on the other.

What I’m about to tell you is an observation. My sister and father are quicker to anger than mother and I. That could be because of personality or another factor. Either way, it got me thinking.

I don’t know if I should be telling you this, but my sister and father occasionally struggle with words.

Now I know correlation isn’t causation but could it be a factor. Sometimes I can’t grasp what they are saying to me and the other way round. Is that what leads to clashes, it could be part of the reason.

The diving bell and the stupid guy

The next guy that I want to tell you about definitely lacked intelligence or I could be wrong. Thinking back, was this person dumb or was it their inability to express themselves that made me feel that they were sub-par intelligence. This guy could barely string a sentence together, and he always seemed angry.

The anger may have had many sources, but I believe part of it was his inability to make himself understood. Those he spoke to, unable to get his meaning, would frustrate him by misinterpreting his words.

You’ve probably experienced it yourself, on holiday. You get frustrated because the person your trying to get help from has limited English. You want to be understood but are unable to make that possible.

Do angry people feel like foreigners in their home country?

Is anger partially brought on by being misunderstood? If that is the case, then you would be better off being the best equipped when it comes to expressing yourself.

You do that by having power over language and extending your vocabulary.

Language and words have power

Words have power. They shape your reality. Want proof, think about yourself reading these words as they filter into your brain. They are squiggles that make sense to you. Your wondering where am I going with this, get to the point.

Words are seeds planted in you. You feel those words under your skin burrowing deeper and deeper. It may not be, but you can feel it bubbling up somewhere inside of you. You may not even be conscious of it, but you feel that burning sensation making you want to itch. You’re probably resisting the urge to itch to prove me wrong but why? I’m not there. I’ll never know if you itched or not.

Expand your vocabulary. The more words you have, the better you are at expressing yourself. The better you are at expressing yourself, the less likely you are to be misunderstood. Words have the power to change you and other people’s perception. If you want to control your reality, maybe even others then control your language.

One aspect of having a more extensive vocabulary

If you’re going to extend your vocabulary know this: be careful with big words. Having the vocabulary and being able to use it are two different matters. Big words are nukes of language. When you and the person you are talking with has them, then it’s better not to have to use them because it becomes a dick-wagging contest.

I love big words. The musicality they bring to a conversation, but I have to try to simplify the words I use consciously.

Let me butcher a football analogy. Back in school, there were two kinds of footballers, the good player and the player who had all the right gear. The person with the kit tended to suck and needed the equipment to compensate.

About language, I was the guy with the gear. I had big words, but I couldn’t communicate well with others and that frustrated everyone. Knowing which tools to use is as important as which ones you have.

Over the years having an extensive vocabulary I’ve realised that being concise with your words is helpful when it comes to being understood.

How you can improve your language power today

The best way that you can increase your power over language is by reading. Read anything you like, but I recommend books. You know, like actual physical books.

You may have a kindle or read off your phone, but there’s something about holding the physical book in your hand.

Physical books feel less disposable than a piece that you’re reading off a screen. The blue light that comes from our phones messes with our circadian rhythms. This is why you must not bring your phone to bed with you.

While non-fiction and biographies are OK, I recommend that you read fiction. Fiction can increase your word power. It has the bonus of strengthening your empathy muscle. When you have to see the world through someone else’s eyes, you’re developing your empathy.

The best way to read them is to have a notebook beside your bed. When you encounter a word that you don’t know, make a note of it and look up the meaning the next day.

Once you have the meaning of that word, then use the Clueless method. From the film Clueless you take the unfamiliar word and use it in your language. You do so that the word becomes naturalised.

Good luck and I hope that you increase your capacity to use language and gain emotional mastery.


Selective Autism effects you and you don’t even know

What is Selective Autism?

You’ve encountered selective autism before. You don’t have a name for it. I use this expression to describe how people take the words of their enemies literally to be outraged.
Selective autism occurs when your alternative is to acknowledge an enemy made a good point. You’re emotions and ego blind you. You misrepresent what your enemy says because you can’t admit your enemy is talking sense.
Selective autism occurs mainly in men as men are more affected by autism. Men are the more argumentative sex. That doesn’t mean that women are immune.
You saw a local example. After the Rugby Rape Hoax trial, first world feminists made memes of the innocent men. Quotes from their private WhatsApp conversation placed over their eyes. One lad had “I threw her home” as his caption.
Selective autism meant females took it literally, “Can you believe that he THREW her home”. You and I both know that he didn’t mean he “threw” her home, he made sure she got home. Disappointed the accuser wasn’t raped, first world feminists had to see offence elsewhere.

Kanye West samples here’s one for example.

You’ve heard the clip of Kanye saying slavery is a choice. Here we have a clear example of mass selective autism. Kanye has annoyed people by saying “We got to love Trump” and so forth.
Half of America thinks Trump is racist. Having Kanye saying that people have to try love disturbs them. There is high emotion associated with Kanye’s stance. People are vigilant for any slip-ups Mr West may make and with “slavery is a choice” they are pouncing on him.
Before you read on you and I need to make sure that we understand each other. I get that you think that Kanye was saying that slavery was a literal choice. You and I both know that is absurd. If slaves could choose would they remain enslaved?
The United States abolished slavery. If you wanted to choose to be a slave you would have to move to Libya. Kanye was talking about mindset. Kanye is reiterating the words of a Candace Owens video.
In trying to bring Kanye down, people have had to be selectively autistic. They have had to misinterpret his words by taking them literally.

Personal Example

My grandmother death has caused a rift in my mother’s side of the family. My uncles are refusing to speak to my mum. I have an aunt who is acting as a mediator between my uncles and mum.
It got back to my mum that an uncle commented, “She wasn’t mum in the hospital”. Mum got upset telling me over the phone that “She was always our mother”. As much as I dislike my uncles for how they’ve treated mum I had to defend them. “Mum you and I said this, they weren’t saying that she ceased being a mother, they meant that she wasn’t the same person”. Grandma wasn’t the same once she went into the hospital.
Due to the emotions involved my mum encountered selective autism. It was my obligation to get her out of it; I had to make her look at the words on their own.
You must separate the words from the speaker. Remind the person that they have used similar words themselves. You must hold the selective autist/selaut to their own standard.

An autistic theory about autism

Have you read Sapiens? I recommend that you do. It’s a history of our species, homo sapiens. At one point homo sapiens biggest rival was Neanderthals. One on one Neanderthal would have crushed us. Ten on ten, same outcome. One hundred sapiens v one hundred neanderthals? That’s a different story.
Neanderthals couldn’t organise themselves into large groups. One reason was they couldn’t manage abstract thought. They couldn’t share a belief together. Think of how many things exist because you and I agree they do. There’s religion, law, money; the list goes on. Neanderthals were literal thinkers.
You’re probably thinking, where the hell am I going with this?
There is a dispute about what happened to the Neanderthal. One theory is that homo sapiens genocided them. The other theory is that we interbred with them and their genes joined our code. I’m sure we killed a few, I’m also sure we fucked a few too.
Now for my theory.
My theory is that autism is a genetic echo of our interbreeding with Neanderthals. Neanderthals couldn’t work well in groups. They also thought literally, what are some of the symptoms of autism?
I’m going one further and saying that selective autism is a reminder to us all of our Neanderthal past.
Are you going through a bout of selective autism right now? Did you read what I wrote and get so annoyed that you think I wrote autistic people are Neanderthals? If you did, say hi to your ancestors for me.

Preventative measures

How can you stop yourself from becoming a selaut? How can you stop others from being selauts?
I have gone through bouts of selective autism. I’ve disliked a person so much that I can’t concede that they are making good points or coming up with good ideas.
I had to break out of that because I was missing out on some great ideas because of my ego.
How did I break the pattern?
I would use the best friend filter. Visualise your best friend saying these words instead of the asshole. If you’re OK with your best friend saying it, then it’s unfair to be upset at some douchebag for saying the same words.
If you want to be an ethically consistent person, you must hold opponents to the same standard as your best friend.
Waiting for someone to say something that you can misinterpret is exhausting. You’ll also miss out on a load of cool conversations too. You may have to take a step back and think about the words rather than the speaker. You judge a person by their words and their actions. Unless you are looking to remain upset? If you are, then ignore what I am writing.

How can you stop yourself

How do you stop it from happening to yourself? I’ve been thinking about this, and you aren’t going to like my answer.
In an argument setting, you’re going to have to think about what you’re saying and listen to how you speak. Avoid metaphors, flowery language and cliche. Your enemy will mishear you, take your words out of context and warp your meaning. The more sound your argument, the more desperate they’ll act.
Here is an example of how they could do it to you:
You: Life, for the most part, is good.
Opponent: Children are dying.
You: I’m not saying that there aren’t bad things happening in the world. You and I should be grateful for all that we have. Sometimes you got to stop and smell the roses.
Opponent: You hear that? Children are dying, and he’s more concerned with flowers.
Idiots: Boo!
When you are in a confrontational setting, you must watch your speech. You may be in the right. There are those who, if they cannot find fault with your argument will find fault with your words.
Another tactic is to enjoy the silence. Most people can’t take silence, and in an argument, they will try to get you to say more so that you stumble.
In arguments words are rope. Saying nothing is an argument all on its own.
In the spirit of saying less than is necessary.