Corona Chaos: My absence explained

All this Corona Chaos can get to you can’t it?

Hi, hope you’re well and hope you’re washing your hands.

It has taken me a while, but I am back to posting again.

And now with added sound value too.

Where have I been? You’re all asking.

Some of you are asking.

One of you is asking.

Let’s get into it.

Corona Chaos Countdown

Last Thursday I was off to London to visit the girlfriend.

The wonderfully talented Saba Ahmad. Make sure to follow the link and give her poems a read.

This was when the whole corona chaos was picking up steam. It didn’t feel like people were taking it seriously in the UK. Before I left for the airport, I said to my parents “I don’t want to go”. I was worried about flights getting cancelled and being stuck in London. Then I worried about bringing it back to my parents. Then I worried about my parents who would, in turn, pass it onto my granny.

Now there’s a chance that I’m overreacting, but I want to give you an idea of what was going on in my mind.

When I got to the airport, I did my best to keep away from people. Have you’ve ever encountered the following phenomenon? Sometimes the harder you try to avoid people, the more they want to be close to you. No matter where I went people couldn’t keep away from your boy Majury.

I don’t blame them but it was frustrating, to say the least.

The whole time I was over in London, it felt like being in a persistent state of panic. I wasn’t being my usual chatterbox self, and I didn’t want to do anything, which I guess isn’t that odd.

Thankfully Saba was more than understanding.

We went to see her friends play. I did not take my raincoat off, or the scarf around my face. I don’t even think I blinked.

When I was in public, I was a statue.

At night I didn’t sleep. I’d close my eyes for a bit then those dark thoughts would bubble into view of my mind’s eye. I’d spring up then check twitter. By the way, here’s a pro tip, see if you’re ever worried about something, do not check twitter.

I’m not going to lie over the Thursday, Friday and some of the Saturday my mind went to dark places. It wasn’t the virus that was scaring me; it was more the full societal collapse that might result because of it.

My mind brought up all kinds of awful thoughts. Would my housemate and I have to take up watches to make sure no one would break in? Then I would think what would be the quickest most painless way for me to kill myself if the situation arose? If the hospitals closed and my parents got sick and were in a lot of pain, would I have to euthanise them?

Over and over, again and again, I would play out these scenarios in my head.

In short, uploading to my blog was the last thing on my mind.

Then on Sunday, something flipped. Like a switch in my brain that went from worry to total chillness.

Why less serious?

Can I share with you why I think my mind flipped the switch?

This may sound a bit woo-woo to you, so I understand if you think I’m talking out my ass.

OK, here goes.

I am an ENFP personality type. One of my traits is to work out what the majority of people are doing then do the opposite. My sister summed me up pretty well one day. Someone asked her, “What’s your brother like?”, she responded “Whatever everyone else thinks, he thinks the opposite”.

While most people were being flippant, saying Chinese Corona Virus was “Just a flu brah” I was having a meltdown.

Then it all changed. The turns tabled, to quote Michael Scott. Something in the collective consciousness happened on Sunday.

The majority began to take it seriously.

Now, there’s no way for me to prove this happened.

That’s what it felt like, and I think on some level I picked up on that.

Do you believe me?

Again, it’s cool if you don’t.

New purpose

Now that everyone else is in the panic, it’s up to people like myself to calm us down.

I’m not going to lie, I don’t really have too many skills. If I were to brutally honest with you, I’d probably fall into the category of useless man.

Either way, it doesn’t matter.

What I can do is write a bit, tell a joke or two and sing a song on occasion.

I will do all that is in my limited power to help you get through this.

My future has never been so uncertain. I’ve been laid off (temporarily, we’ll see). The people who I edit, write and proofread for have also had to tighten their belts. It’s understandable but the timing ain’t great chief.

However, despite all the grimness, I’ve never felt such a sense of purpose.

I took a bit of a break but now I’m ready to get back to it.

You are going to get through this Corona Chaos, and I am here to do whatever is in my power to make sure you do.

I needed to have a few dark nights of the soul to strengthen my resolve but I’m back.

We’re going to come out of this stronger, better together.

Let’s get to work.

****

Did you like that? 

If you did would you mind signing up to my email because you’re a legend.

Thank you and have a great day,

Kieran


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