La La Land: What the ending says about you

La La Land is a modern classic. I still listen to the soundtrack, and I’ll rewatch it every once in a while. When I first saw it in the cinema, it was after the break up of a long relationship. I’ll be honest the alternate path scene towards the end made me sink down in my seat and weep.

At the time, I felt like shit. Once the film ended, I felt new, refreshed rejuvenated. The pent up emotion had been sucked out. The poisonous venom had been syphoned out.

That experience alone means the film will always hold a special place in my heart and memory. I am thankful to La La Land for helping me release those emotions.

You probably think I’m crazy, maybe I am. I don’t know if films or stories have an effect on you. There’s a chance I’m too sensitive. What do you think?

A favourite film, for me, isn’t just the film but it’s everything around the film. You see it at a specific moment in time, and it takes root in your brain.

This is a long way for me to say that regardless of how “good” La La Land is, I love the film.

Culture night: City of Stars

I was out with two friends on culture night Belfast. If you don’t know what culture night is here’s the essence: people drinking in the street and others openly defecating. It’s more like a medieval fair in a tube top. There are also musicians performing in hair salons.

Nobody is out for the culture.

Anyway, I’m out with two friends in Belfast town on Friday night. One friend is my housemate. The other friend is of a more stoical nature than the other two. I’ll give you a hint, I’m not the stoic.

The stoic was talking about how he had watched La La Land before he came out. Housemate and I were a bit surprised not only he’d seen it but more than once. We didn’t think it would be his kind of thing.

The three of us talked about what we loved in the film. The soundtrack, City of Stars in particular, how even the “bad” John Legend song is excellent. The attention to detail in relationships. We (fellas) miss important things for reasons beyond our control. How at some point in a relationship the guy has to tell the girl to aim big. The stoic also talked about wanting to learn the piano go down to Venice Pier in LA and belt it out. La La Land is dreamlike, but it’s grounded in a recognisable reality.

The most exciting discussion happened when it came to the ending.

A brief digression.

I love my father a lot. It’s embarrassing how long it took for me to realise he is my hero. There is one thing I am thankful for when it came to relationship advice.

It’s not the kind of advice you would expect from a dad, but that’s why I’m even more grateful to him for it. Your natural reaction will be to dismiss it, but you cannot deny the logic. Dad told it to my sister too before you get outraged.

Dad told us that there was no such thing as a “One” (true love). His reasoning:

“Think of how many people there are in the world. The idea that there’s only one person for you is statistically improbable. If it were true, then there would be no divorce, and no one would get remarried. If there was only one person for you, how would you know when you met them?”

I’m paraphrasing him, but you get the idea don’t you?

For that reason, I’ve never been afraid to end things. That doesn’t mean I run as soon as things get tough. If anything I hang in bad relationships a bit too long. It has been worth it as now I am with someone who I love. I’ve also realised that I’ve picked up defences from these bad relationships. I’m in the process of unlearning them.

I have to value my own time more.

That got a bit rambly, didn’t it?

La La Land and it’s ending

The ending of La La Land is divisive.

There are people who love the ending of La La Land (me) and people who hate it. Your reaction is dependent on your mindset. If you think they should have stayed together, then you are of a scarcity mindset. You didn’t pick up on the fact that they are horrible as a couple. The dinner scene is the first time they’re together when things are going well, and they are at each other’s throats. They were right for each other when the chips were down but not when things go well. Even in the alternate path scene, they are together, but it’s clear they would have had to have made a lot of compromises. They may have ended up resenting each other in that timeline.

If you loved the ending, then you’re an abundance mindset. You realise that your happiness comes first. You have to live your life for you. There is no one chance at love. You have to do what is right for you. Codependency is not a substitute for self-worth. Yes, they’re not together, but individually they’re whole. Emma Stone found someone she loved, and you know that Ryan’s first love will always be jazz. It’s a happy ending.

La La Land Conclusion

I love La La Land. It might not be the best film in the world, but it means a lot to me. It feels silly saying that but maybe I’m a silly guy.

Remember that you have to put your happiness first. There’s a city of stars out there. They might be shining just for you.

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