Caring is a good thing, right?
Caring can be good. You care about all the people in your life you want what’s best for them. You don’t want any harm to come to them, and you want what’s best for them.
Who could have a problem with that?
Not me and I hope that as you read this, you don’t either.
Overall you and I both agree that caring is a good thing. More people should do it for one another, and maybe the world would be a better place.
Who’s to say?
Have you ever met someone who cares a little too much about something?
You know the type I’m talking about, it’s almost like they are personally invested in something. You’ve probably encountered a parent who really wants their kid to do well in an exam. You know how it is they won’t stop going on about the importance of the exam. If the kid passes this exam, then life will magically all come together. The kid, on the other hand, couldn’t care less, they seem pretty chill about the whole affair. This lack of caring from the kid makes the parent nervous, and this causes rows between the two. When it comes to the day of the exam the kid either chokes to the pressure from the parent. Out of badness they deliberately tank the exam.
I’m not saying that caring is a bad thing. It’s the extremists on the fringes can make the whole group look bad.
Caring is overrated
When you care too much, it can blind you. You care too much, you can’t think straight. When you care too much, you mess everything up.
Caring is good, but it’s not necessary. Caring is a form of emotional investment.
People all over the world have their own causes that hold a prominent place in their heart. Whether that is charity work, saving the rainforest or the dolphins or whatever.
I’m not calling these people dishonest. There’s definitely an upper limit to the effectiveness of caring. That’s what I want you to consider at some point.
This may sound harsh, but sometimes it’s better to remain dispassionate about something. Putting too much focus into something can cost you in other ways that you don’t see.
When I was young, around 18, I was out with a group of friends at a bar. The night ended, and we all got talking to this group of girls. I managed to get a girls number. Don’t ask me how this was possible, this was way before I worked on improving my personality. Looking back, I think she was just a lovely polite girl who didn’t want to be rude.
This girl was beautiful, kind of posh and most important, she was tall.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for someone who’s about 6’4 to find a partner that you don’t have to do a stoop and smooch?
It’s not easy I can tell you.
Anyway, I was besotted with this girl. She was cool, we went places and just hanging out with her was fun.
You can probably tell where this is going right?
She dumped me, via text, back when they still cost 10p.
I was devastated.
I did not take it well.
Spent a good deal of my £10 trying to reason with her and beg her to not break up with me. You know because there’s nothing that women find sexier than a cold, rational appeal to logic. It really floats their boat. Provided their boat is the Titanic.
I can look back on it and laugh now because it was a learning experience. I cared too much and paid for it, I was over-invested.
There’s an old Russian expression translated it’s “Whoever confesses first, loses”. This means that in a relationship the person who says “I love you” first has a tendency to be on the back foot.
Cynical? Maybe, honest? Yes.
I’m not telling you never to say I love you, sometimes it’s good to say it first, if you want to get dumped, I kid. However, what I would recommend that you do is keep your caring to a minimal level.
Don’t over care.
That would be my advice.
You’re actually experiencing some of the negative benefits of over caring. Helicopter parents are a great example of people who over-cared and look what you got; a generation of garbage kids.
Remember when you could call the child that was pouring your grandmother’s ashes into the kitty litter tray, a brat. The other adults would nod in silent agreement?
Not anymore. Now you call a kid a brat, and you get “Ehhh, excuse me that child is autistic ADHD. A special sunbeam shone directly from Mount Olympus. How dare you.”
These are the parents who over care. These parents are the reason that there’s been such a big push to legalise abortion in recent years.
Some women look at parents out with their kids and their somehow sticky hands and think, “Gee, if I pressure the government to legalise abortion I can finally move out of my high rise with the broken lift”.
I don’t dislike kids, kids are fine, they don’t know any better. Parents though, they should know slightly better.
You’re thinking, hey Majury, you’re getting pretty off topic. You’re right, let me say one nice thing about parents, and then I’ll wrap it up.
Signs of hope
I think the next generation of parents will swing back the other way. I have a friend from school who is a dad. You can tell he is going to be one of the best dads and his son will be all the better for it.
How do I know this? You ask.
He doesn’t over care and here’s why.
This mate sent a video to the Whatsapp group of his son in the garden, fully regaled in golfing gear. There’s a big yellow golf ball on the grass. The kid approaches with his big green plastic club. Kid takes several swings, misses, then bam. The kid goes on his ass and starts gurning. A helicopter parent would fling the camera to the ground, and you would hear muffled cries of “CALL A DOCTOR”.
My mate, not a helicopter parent, says “Wwweeeee” and gets on as if nothing happened. The comic timing in the video is brilliant, and I’m not doing it any justice for you here. He’ll be a good dad because he cares the right amount, he has everything in perspective. More parents like this and you’re going to see more well-adjusted kids as you get older.
To wrap up for you, care the appropriate amount, learn to let go.
We’re all going to die anyway so live a little. (641)