First of all, you have to understand that I’m not going to lay out a definition of masculinity.
I’ll go so far as to say this: if you’re born a man and believe yourself to be a man then you can be masculine.
Another aspect you should be wary of is that this post is going to come across as a bit sexist. When you get into the specifics of talking about masculinity you’re going to speak in general terms. When you speak in general terms, you come across as a bit of a sexist.
Consider yourself warned.
Masculinity is under siege
You wouldn’t say that masculinity is under attack. You could say that it’s under siege. Masculinity has been sectioned off and feels like it’s under constant guard.
Masculinity is seen as negative in this day and age. I don’t believe that there’s a sinister cabal trying to keep men down. If anything it’s far more mundane.
The western world doesn’t have as much need for traditional masculinity.
Masculinity has spent the entirety of history making life as comfortable for everyone. How do we say thank you? By demonising masculinity.
Society has a history of using up men and then discarding them as soon as they have served their purpose.
Look at Roman Polanski, who only recently has been kicked out of the Academy. Once his output diminished they finally made him a pariah.
Same for Harvey Weinstein, once his producing reduced people were more willing to hear his accusers’ stories.
To be clear, I’m not saying that his accusers are opportunistic. I’m saying that those who could have done something about it didn’t want to hear what his victims had to say.
People will forgive you for anything provided that they are benefitting in some way. Once they no longer benefit, you’re in trouble.
If you are going to set out and make your mark in the world here is my advice. Either don’t quit or be without sin and always have a witness around.
Otherwise, they’ll chase you out of town.
Survive til 25
The first part of a man’s life sucks.
You aren’t pretty like a girl, so people are less inclined to let you away with stupid shit. You’re ugly, awkward and you don’t want to speak to people. Coupled with the fact that you are in this weird space of constantly being horny and aggressive.
Sadly the first 25 years of a man’s life sucks. That’s one of the reasons that there is still a high percentage of us punching our own ticket.
Then you turn 25, and something unusual happens. Everything levels out and life becomes incredible.
One of the first things that I noticed was that women started to fancy me. It took a while to twig onto the idea, but once I did, it was a revelation. “Why is she hanging around, she’s going to be late for work tomorrow” I would think to myself. Then I would realise.
You don’t just magically become attractive.
You have become surer of yourself, you’re more confident. You’ve been rejected so many times in your life, it’s no longer a big deal. Also, you’ve had sex a couple of times and realise that it’s also nothing special.
Essentially you become chill yet authoritative. Everyone loves that.
If you’re not 25 yet and feel like life is a big dark hole sucking you in my advice to you would be to hang on in there. Whenever you turn 25, you’ll see what I mean.
If you’re over 25 and still angry, I recommend meditation, gratitude and affirmations. You need to let go of that anger before you turn 30. I say 30 because someone who is over that age and still angry at life tends to get cut out of others. There appears to be a lot of bitter men over 30 who take every inconvenience as a personal offence.
Don’t be that guy.
If you’re over 25 and still a virgin seriously consider getting either a prostitute or an escort. Not because you absolutely have to have sex, but you need to realise that it isn’t that big of a deal. You put sex on a pedestal, and that will only psyche you out. You won’t lose that air of desperation that people can sense.
Boost your testosterone
Testosterone is a wonder drug for boosting your masculinity. The hormone has got everything a man needs packed into two little balls. All your body is doing is waiting for an excuse to release the chemicals.
Testosterone reduces depression, will make you smarter, more decisive, better able to improvise.
The benefits of testosterone are numerous and the work required to access it is minimal.
All you have to do is lift something heavy.
It’s that simple. Go lift something heavy. You don’t even need to go to a gym, just find something substantial, lift it up and put it down. Repeat this process.
Do push-ups, when you wake up do 100 push-ups. Guarantee if you commit to doing a hundred push-ups as soon as you wake up you’ll never feel sad again.
Shrug off peer pressure
You’re going to get pushback for being a man.
Masculinity can be intimidating to those who don’t have any.
You’re going to get manipulated into toning it down, making concessions for the weak.
In fact, that’s how the weak control the strong, through manipulation. The only advice that I can give you in that regard is to nod your head, say yes and then do whatever you feel like.
If they come to you later and complain that you are not doing what they said, tell them that you changed your mind.
After all, it’s a man’s prerogative to change his mind.